In case it has slipped your attention, today is the first day of July – which means we are officially halfway through the year. WTF?!
If you’re anything like me, this is usually the point at which you start to panic about all the things you haven’t done yet.
All those goals you set at the start of the year that are still sitting on the shelf, until you find the time to get to them.
All those good intentions that have so far amounted to… well, not much.
And if that’s you, I don’t want you to panic, or beat yourself up, or anything like that.
But I do want you to take stock and think about WHY it is you haven’t reached those goals you set for yourself at the start of the year yet (or why you haven’t even started on them).
And if I had to take a guess, I would say your No.1 reason would be time. Not enough time in the day/ week/ month to do even half of what it is you want to do/ achieve/ complete. Am I right?
I know that because I speak to women all the time who tell me that time (or a lack of it) is the reason they haven’t started exercising more/ eating better/ taking time out for themselves and doing something for their own mental health and wellbeing.
But when I delve deeper, do you know what I find?
More often than not, these same women are saying “yes” far too often to other people and other things that are keeping them from doing what they really need to be doing for themselves.
I’ve coached women who are so busy making gourmet meals from scratch for their kids that they are too bloody tired to eat well themselves so they have toast for dinner.
Women who are exhausted and stretched to their limits but who still volunteer to be on the school fundraising committee or class liaison or manager of their kid’s soccer team.
Women who “don’t have time to exercise” but spend all week and most of the weekend taxi-ing their kids around to myriad extra-curricular activities.
Look, I know without people (let’s face it, it’s usually the mums!) helping out at school and sport and all the rest of it, these events might not happen. But when you’re sacrificing your own health and wellbeing to be the superwoman who does it all, then there’s a problem.
I volunteer my time to coach kids’ sport and help out at school events too – but not at the expense of my own health. I know when to say no (now anyway – I didn’t always, and my health suffered). My kids know that MY sport and fitness activities are just as important as theirs (sometimes more so) so we make it work as a family.
Sound selfish? Well if you want to achieve your goals and fulfill your potential then you HAVE to be a little bit selfish (sometimes a lot selfish).
Women on the whole NEED to be more selfish. We need to stop putting everyone else’s needs above our own all the time. And actually that’s not selfish at all, because if we don’t look after ourselves, the people around us suffer too.
Of course, sometimes the people in our lives genuinely need us. If you’ve ever had to look after sick parent or partner or child, you know what I mean.
But the garden-variety wants and needs of other people, family, friends, work, school? That should not trump your own health and happiness. And it’s easy to use that as an excuse for not taking care of yourself too.
Sometimes “I’m too busy” actually translates to “I don’t value myself enough to put my needs at the top of my list”.
So let me ask you – at the moment are you so time-poor that you are not exercising at least three times a week and eating food that is healthy and nourishing MOST of the time? If so, then something’s got to give, or your health is going to give. It won’t be a matter of if but when. And then you won’t be any good to all those people who rely on you right now.
Tough love, I know, but I’ve seen way too many women who have pushed themselves over the edge physically and mentally as a result of being everything to everyone but themselves. And the consequences are devastating.
So if this resonates with you, consider this your wake-up call.
I’m here to tell you that YOU are important and if you don’t start to prioritise your needs now then no one else will.
If you want my help figuring out how to do that, just click here and we can make a time to chat.
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